We talk a lot about postnatal depression and anxiety, but OCD in new mums is still so misunderstood. And because of that, so many women suffer in silence, terrified of what their thoughts might mean.
I want to say this clearly first: having intrusive thoughts does not mean you want to harm your baby.
OCD in motherhood often shows up quietly. But it doesn’t always look like cleaning or organising. It lives in the mind. For many new mums, OCD starts with unwanted, intrusive thoughts. These are thoughts that feel shocking, upsetting, frightening, and completely against who you are.
They can come out of nowhere and stick like glue. Common triggers can include:
• Becoming a mum (especially after loss or trauma)
• Being alone with your baby
• Sleep deprivation
• Hormonal changes
• A strong sense of responsibility or fear of “getting it wrong”
• Wanting to be a good mum at all costs
The first signs are often:
• Repeated intrusive thoughts you can’t switch off
• Constantly seeking reassurance (“Am I normal?” “Would I do this?”)
• Avoiding certain situations (baths, stairs, knives, being alone)
• Mental checking (“Did I think that on purpose?”)
• Feeling intense guilt, shame, or fear about your thoughts
• A deep fear of being judged or having your baby taken away
Many mums don’t speak up because they are scared of what professionals might think. So instead, they overcompensate. They become hyper-vigilant, exhausted, and emotionally drained, all while smiling on the outside.
Support for Intrusive Thoughts & OCD
OCD feeds on silence. It grows when we believe we are the only ones thinking these things.
You are not broken. You are not dangerous. And you are not a bad mum. You are a mum whose brain is stuck in a fear loop and that can be helped.
If this resonates, please know support exists and recovery is possible. Talking about it doesn’t make it real. It makes it manageable.
And if you’re reading this thinking, “This is me, but I’ve never said it out loud” you are not alone. Not here, not ever.
Mothers Matter are here for you. Get in touch with us today.
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